I’ve been paralyzed by fear for months. And I’m a grown woman. A forty-one-year-old woman who has a million thoughts, feelings and a belief that my thoughts and feelings may be of value. Thoughts and feelings which shape decisions that have ultimately led to this little thing we’re over here doing called life.
Which everyone seems to do a little differently, and I think that’s about the coolest thing we’ve all got going for us, as we hurtle through the universe on this spinning sphere.
I get asked questions on the regular. Questions about homeschooling. Questions about plant based eating. Questions about living in Georgia. Questions about living in Ohio. Questions about my politics. Questions about parenting. Questions about my faith and values. Questions about traveling. Questions about paper dresses. Questions about photography. Questions about what Mayhem is wearing. Questions about encouraging creativity. Questions about tennis. Questions that never end.
And I love it.
And I have so much so very much that I’d love to share.
I also have fear.
And it’s a hang up. Because it revolves around who’s going to be offended. Because someone is always offended.
If I talk openly and honestly about the reasons we’ve chosen to homeschool, then there are people who see it as an attack against public and private schooling. It’s not, btw.
Chat about choosing primarily plant based eating, watch the eyes roll, the heads shake, and the backs turn.
I’ve written more blog posts that have never seen the light of the publish button because I worry that someone will take offense to my experiences in life. Some posts have been banished to the trash bin, while others live as untitled drafts for the rest of eternity. Purgatory for blog posts, if you will.
Let’s read that again and realize just how ridiculous is sounds. I AM WORRIED ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE BEING OFFENDED BY MY LIFE EXPERIENCE.
I’ve tried editing. To the point where the story no longer has substance. But taking away the details feels like taking away the message.
But I’m tired of being apologetic for living a life that I’m pretty happy with. I have good days and atrocious days, I have amazing experiences and shitty ones, just like everyone else. And those thoughts and feelings that go along with all of those experiences, are mine to share. Or not.
So moving forward, there will be more sharing. And
no less apologizing. Because this is my life, not a guidebook for anyone else. Just me sharing what’s working and what isn’t over here on my little speck of the universe. Things I may find hysterical or heart warming or gut wrenching. Things that have me thrilled and things that have me fuming. Things that I’m stoked about or things that may be keeping me awake at night.
And my hope in sharing more is that someone, somewhere, may feel a little less alone in whatever thoughts and feelings they may be experiencing.
More living. More sharing. Less apologizing.