Mayhem. Retirement planning specialist.
Last night our dinner conversation went a little like this:
Mayhem:When I have kids, I am NOT doing all this work you guys do.
Me: You mean like fix your dinner, do your laundry, play with you … that kind of stuff?
Keith: Well who’s going to do it?
Mayhem: My husband.
Me: Oh, so you’re going to go make the money and your husband can stay home with the kids?
Mayhem: Are you even kidding? No way!
Me: So what are YOU going to do?
Mayhem: I’m going to relax.
Keith (stifling laughter): What do you mean by relax?
Mayhem: I mean lay around and watch whatever TV shows I want.
Me (unable to stifle my laughter): And how will you have money to pay for your house and your food and all the millions of things your kids ask for?
Mayhem: That’s why I’m working NOW! Don’t you get it? I’m doing all my working now so I can retire when I’m thirteen.
Mayhem: Yes! Thirteen.
Me: And how are you going to make your money now?
Mayhem: Selling more potholders. And donuts. I’m going to start selling donuts too.
Me: So you’ve got seven years left to work.
Keith: Sounds like a pretty solid plan.
Mayhem: Oh, and by the way, you guys can come and visit when I have a family, but you should know that we’re going to be living in New York.
Me: Where are you going to live in New York?
Mayhem: In the city, you know, like in a hotel. But we’re going to knock down the walls between a bunch of rooms and make one big hotel room. It’s called a penthouse. Have you ever heard of those?
Me (shaking head in disbelief): I have. And I think you’re going to need to sell an awful lot of potholders and donuts to buy one.
Mayhem: You’re forgetting, I have SEVEN years. That’s like FOREVER!
Keith: Sounds like you’ve got it all figured out.
Mayhem: I do. And it was pretty easy. I just decided.
Mayhem’s Guide to Retirement … now available for pre-order 😉